Planned caesarean positive birth

One of my recent postnatal clients has kindly given me permission to share her birth story - a planned and empowering caesarean birth. I have previously struggled to find many planned caesarean birth stories to share with clients who are planning a caesarean birth, or even for those planning vaginal births but wanting to be prepared for a plan b or c. Stories are a great way to help prepare parents for what that day might feel like, what may occur, what is routine, each story is so unique and individual so i’m pleased to share this today, and have this resource to signpost future clients to. Names have been changed for anonymity.

“It is morning and it feels like we are getting ready to go to the airport because we are up early and we’re ticking off the tasks we would usually do when we go on holiday. It is a strange feeling and anticipation takes over once we’re in the car on our way to the hospital. It is absolutely pouring it down and it is dark outside.

I am feeling guilty for leaving the dogs in the boarding kennels, but I know we will be picking them up in a day or two and introducing them to their new little brother.

We still haven’t chosen a name from our shortlist and that decision weighs down on me, but I don’t say anything because it’s 6.45am and I need to drink the 500ml of isotonic before 7am so my focus moves to that.

As we get closer to the hospital my adrenaline starts to kick in that something huge is about to happen.

We park the car and I remember thinking that the car will be parked here all day and I wondered how much the parking would cost us.

We head to the ward as requested by the midwife on the call the week before where we ran through our birth plan. We had been there for 5 minutes before we are asked to head to the delivery ward as there are no beds available. A bubbly nurse walks through the double doors of the ward to where we are waiting and gives me a covid test which confirmed I was negative.

After 20 mins of waiting, we are welcomed into the ward and shown to our room which we are told is temporary until a bed becomes available in the other ward. On the brightside, we have our own space, and I can go to the toilet.

Before 9.30am we are visited by lots of different staff members, including the midwife who will be there in the delivery room with us, an anaesthesiologist, and a consultant we had seen at our 36-week appointment.

I am alternating sitting and laying on the bed in my hospital gown. The room starts to get quite stuffy, so we put the fan on. We are told by a midwife that we would be third (last) on the list to have the operation because we are the lowest risk and hopefully it would be before 1pm. By 12pm I am starving, and I start to sniff my salted caramel lip balm as it’s the closest thing to food I can have! I haven’t eaten since 7pm last night. It was glorious. I can drink water though, so I drink that, a lot of it.

As we are waiting, we listen to a playlist I created called ‘Emby’s birthday’. Emby is what we called Rory during pregnancy (it is short for Embryo). There are 5-6 songs on the playlist by artists like Mumford and Sons, Leon Bridges and Jose Gonzalez. Two minutes into the playlist and I hear ‘Nantsingonyama bagithi baba’. Obviously, Karl was going to make sure the Lion King made the playlist.

By 1.30pm Karl has his scrubs on and we should be heading in soon. We pack up our bags so they are neat and tidy, and we are told we would be returning to the maternity ward.

It’s 2pm and we’re in the theatre. The room is large, bright and crowded with a lot of people. It isn’t like I expected, It’s big and busy full of people and equipment. I can see where the baby will be weighed, and I can see one bed in the middle surrounded by equipment. I head to the bed. It’s all happening quite fast now. Familiar faces from earlier introductions, and new faces and names.

I sit on the edge of the bed, the anaesthesiologist gives me the spinal block and I hug a pillow for support. I know what to expect after having an epidural in 2019 from a cyst removal procedure. I feel the needle go in and I’m overcome with tears. Now it hits me that what is about to happen is very real. I feel okay. I lay back slowly on the bed, guided by the medical team as I am about to lose feeling in my legs. Within minutes the screen is up, and I am being asked if I can feel some prodding that is happening down below. They are checking if the spinal block is working. I can feel everything, but there is no sensation. It felt unusual. Karl is sat to my right, at head level and is stroking my head. We’re making jokes and laughing, but I can’t remember what we are chuckling about. I can feel they have started as I can hear the doctors talking to each other about what they are doing. I’m thinking, it feels like It’s taking longer than it should, but I stay calm.

I feel a lot of tugging and it was uncomfortable. I can’t say it hurts as I can’t feel anything, but it feels uncomfortable. I hear one doctor say ‘forceps’.

Then I hear him. Karl follows the midwife who I assume has taken him to get weighed and cleaned up. They bring him back to me all wrapped up and I’m holding him, staring at his little pink face. I don’t know how I feel, I can’t explain it. We have some pictures taken but I’m starting to feel weak. I can feel intense tugging from below the curtain, my body is moving, and I am feeling sick. I start to heave so hold Rory out for someone to take him. The tugging is getting stronger, and it feels higher up my body, like it’s in my chest. ‘Why does this feel so high up in my chest, did they cut down? I feel lethargic. There’s constant tugging and it feels like I’m being stuffed – like a teddy bear. ‘Why are they stuffing me, what have they done that means they have to stuff me?’ I stretch out my arms behind me as that is what my body is telling me to do, and I feel tired I have to close my eyes. I am stretching out behind me and reaching out both my arms, but I can’t explain how I am feeling. I have no words and I can’t talk. I don’t know where Karl and Rory are. My body feels heavy.

I start to come around and stop feeling sick. I am getting my feeling back in my arms and I start to make out the people around me. Karl and Rory aren’t here. I feel cold and I am shivering. The doctors move me to a new bed because there is a lot of blood on the other one. I have lost 1.5 litres of blood.

I feel so much more with it and the doctors are happy to send me through to recovery. I am wheeled through to the adjoining room where I meet Rory who is sleeping. The midwife lays him down on my chest. Karl is still in his scrubs (an image I never want to forget). I feel in good spirits and not in pain. The nurses keep checking my levels, and I am thirsty and hungry! I demand food. The midwife shares the measurements of Rory and says goodbye for today. I am taken through to a private room for observation where Rory and I stay until around 8pm. We are then taken through to the ward until we leave two days later.”

Get in touch if you’d like to discuss how I can support your birth (or postnatal) journey - doulabeagarwood@gmail.com

Doula Bea xxx